Happy new year 2009!

Happy New Year 2009 to you all my blog readers! To begin with, let us take a look at the past year - 2008...

As a matter of fact, I had wanted to start this post with a phrase from one of my favorite games, Command&Conquer Generals - "Congratulations, General! You have been promoted!".

You'll probably want to know more...well, effectively I have been appointed manager for the auctions department of the company I've been working for since 2001 - ETA2U. It will undoubtably be one of the greatest challenges of my professional life, but I am determined to learn with patience and to go forward. On the other hand, I am satisfied that my efforts have finally been recognized by the top-management, and that they decided to invest their confidence in my strength and skills. I hope and pray that God be by my side at every step, and the rest shall be just fine.

On the other hand, the vacation I've been waiting for is almost over...Soizic and Didier have been here in a visit, and we have seen virtually half of Transylvania. Of course, we have begun our journey in Timisoara, with a short 1-day visit. They found the city very beautiful, although the visit took place in a very, very hot day which chased us directely to a terrace so we can have some refreshments...this is where Didier realised that his favorite drink, Coca-Cola mint was not available, so he ordered a Coca-Cola and some mint syrup. Well...I guess I'll still keep my beer in the future! :)

They were impressed - you may not believe it, but it's very true - by the countdown clocks under the traffic lights that indicated the remaining time of each color, green and red. Especially Didier found this element very useful and interesting. Surprinsingly for all of us, this "traffic accessory" cannot be found in Nantes. Or, at least, not yet!

We continued our journey by going to Oradea to visit Alina's parents and our little Daria. They were all glad to see us again, and I had the chance to meet - absolutely by chance - some of my old acquiantances in Oradea. We didn't spend much time in Oradea either, as we were on our way to Arieseni mountain resort. We have visited Bran and we made a tour of the region - Brasov, Poiana Brasov, Peles, Sinaia, Busteni. Finally, we ended our journey with a quick stop to Baile Herculane and finally Resita, my home town.

On the other hand, the event that has marked my last year and my life more than any other thing was my marriage. Yes, you read it right, I got married in september to Alina, and things are settling down. How is it? After 3 months of marriage I can tell that it is conforting, quiet and it gives me a feeling of belonging to a place, a feeling of silence and stability. A feeling of home. A feeling of family. I should also mention that the little Daria makes the picture complete, we're getting along very well and, yes, sometimes we even play together! And you may find a picture of the three of us in the day of my marriage with Alina, below.

...and a quick reference to my bachelor party and to my friends - Horea, Marius "Merce", Ovidiu and Gabi! :)

The rest? I do not know. It has been a year of tourment, a year of up's and down's, of certainty and uncertainty, of war and peace, a year of life at its climax. I think it helped me grow wiser, find a little bit of what I've lost of me in the past years, a year when I actually re-invented a part of myself. And a part of me is still yearning for those past years when I was young and careless, deep in thinking and feelings, believing that there is only one love and one way to God.

Am I going in the right direction? I do not know. Am I doing the right things? Again, I do not know. I just hope and pray for enlightment so that things work out just fine.

I wish to be able to live my dreams, to touch the sky and never crash to the ground. I wish for love and peace. I wish...I wish for this year to bring me health, wisdom and progress in my profession, to prove to be a year of stability and quietness, a year of good things and peace, to bring blessings over my house and my new family. I will keep my faith in God and will put all my hopes and dreams in His hands.

Peace&Love to You!

The Wolf

Crossroads

April 8th, 2008...a day like any other, yet something changed today. I cannot identify exactly what is different now, but I simply feel that a change has occured deep down inside.

Let's start by reviewing what has happened since my last post. Alina and I are planning to get married, I proposed on her on new year's eve and she said "Yes". I am very happy that things seem to move with her beside me. She makes me want for more, rises the ambition in me and makes me see new possibilities. But one of the most important things is the fact that she does not let me linger. She knows how to make me get up and move. And that's precisely what I need in life - someone or something to make me take the next step. For example - right now we are considering buying a car...thrilling, right?

I feel once again a little confused about my professional life. Apart from some successes that the company has recognized by awarding me with the "Dream team" distinction and a free, all-expenses paid trip to Egypt - which, by the way, was wonderful, I must confess. But right now things are not as good as they should be. The steps I have taken in the last months have not brought the expected results. OK, I cannot complain, things are just fine right now, but I feel the somehow there's a feeling of discontent between me and my job at this point. But maybe I'm just having a bad day, that's all...I am glad that my ex-colleague from college, Viki Veress, is calling me from time to time to work with her as an interpreter. This makes me particualry happy, the only problem is that it happes quite rarely...But I feel apreciated and I myself feel that I do a good job on this!

On the other hand, Soizic, the girl I've been pen-pal with since high school, is coming this summer, in august, to visit me for the second time. And this time she'll come with her husband Didier, which is a very, I mean very funny guy! I can hardly wait to see them both, after two years (in 2006 it was me who paid them a visit in France - very nice country indeed!). You know, she's one of the few friends that I've kept in touch with for so many years...15 years and counting. It's a lot to be said about this subject, but I guess I'll leave it for later.

Last but not least, a few words about the band - and yes, the Paladins still exist! Although this week I've performed for a colleague in eta2u with Freak, I've lost any hope that he'd be joining us sooner or later. He likes playing from time to time, but he's no enthousiastic, that's for sure. Or maybe he's too much for a family man? Nevertheless, Tommy and I will keep playing. Yes, we will!

In the end - I wish for peace. Once again. I wish to be in good health and to see the day when I will rest. I feel that life is sometimes overwhelming, but I know God is on my side ahd He'll help me whenever I need it.

Peace and Love to You!

Wolf

The beginning of another year

Greetings to all of you blog readers,



First of all, I wish you a happy new year 2008, good health and all the best in life!



I have begun this year by looking back at what 2007 has meant to me. And I can say it's been one of the most challenging years of my life, so far. I have had many up's and down's, many accomplishments and many crashes, but in the end that's what life is all about. You live, you learn...you fall down, you get up again, and keep moving while you still have breath. Struggling to keep my faith, looking for love and trying to make it to the next step. But I think that, after all, I have begun to re-shape my values and to appreciate what I have and what I should build.



I do not know whether I am wiser or stronger in spirit now. I do not believe I am a different person from what I was one year ago. Yet, I believe I have learnt some important lessons, that I must apply in my everyday life.



I am satisfied with my career and my personal progress. There are good and bad days, but I understand now that I must look at the future all the time. All that matters is the next step, the rest is but an option.



But the most important event that marked the beginning of this year is, without any doubt, my trip to Egypt. My company has decided to send me and Gabi, one of my colleagues, to an all-expenses-paid trip to this country. It's a country of extremes. The pyramids and the sphinx are superb, but the country is in a very bad shape. Poverty is everywhere. People are fighting to make a living, trying to sell whatever they can...the bedouins, for example. Personally, I've never seen poorer people in my life.



On the other hand, for the tourists it's a real paradise. It's much cheaper than many traditional destinations, and the conditions are more than acceptable. The landscape is a little devastating, but once you go snorkeling, you change your opinion on everything. Once you swim close to the fish and touch the corals, and after riding a camel, things seem so exotic and exciting that you're certainly gonna want to come back again. And soon!



What pissed me most - everyone was expecting a "baksheesh", a tip. For everything. For any information, any door opened. For doing their job...it's incredible sometimes but...that's the way it is.



What I wish for this year? Peace and health. Nothing more that that. I shall solve the rest, God willing.



That would be all for now. I'm a little out of inspiration tonight. Some pictures...later.

Peace&Love to You!

Wolf

Sometimes

...you feel like taking a break from everything that's inside or outside your universe. And it doesn't happen very often, but you definitely need to follow your feeling and put a little stop to all that's been around you so far.

I guess I'm having one of these moments right now, and I could really use a little space. From what? First of all, from my own home. I know it might seem a little surprising, but that's just the way I feel right now. Leaving behing the noisy refrigerator, the radiator that doesn't heat up as well as it should, the 4th floor that makes you rather live in a bunker, the computer that looks like it's been hit by a cluster bomb, the keyboard that just won't play the way YOU want it to...

And go sailing to the nearest port that would open your way to the desert. To lead your steps where you need to go, where your soul needs to take a good sleep, looking at the sky that touches the dunes so softly.

But time is running out. They want you tomorrow back again, to send THAT e-mail, to buy THOSE things, to say THESE words and act THIS way. THEIR way, anyway, no way...

And you pick up your backpack, fill it up with sand, hoping that THIS sand would provide a corner of confort back home. But it shall prove to be nothing but a mess, since it does not fit in THEIR world. The sand must remain in the desert, the sleeper must be awaken.

The Paladins are still waiting for the time they'll rise again, from their long sleep...or maybe I just miss my friends? Or do I need to go back in the desert and meet Muad'Dib once again? Or is it just another dream at 6:30AM that's about to be interrupted by the alarm clock? Stil...

Peace and Love be with you all!

The Wolf

Here's all...

Waiting for the end of this summer.

We haven't managed to get back together with our band, although Tommy and I have been planning it for two weeks now. I find it hard to believe that the Paladins will ever be whole again. Andy got married in the mean time, Freak is still on the road with his SUN business, and my life's just gone wild since I've started redecorating my home.

Waiting for the beginning of the autumn.

I know things can only be the way we make them, I know that it's almost 100% up to me to make it move, to make it a brand new start, to take the next step. And I don't mean only with this band. For Christ's sake, I'm almost 30 and I feel there's something missing in my life - not only something, but a lot of things. But the most important thing that keeps me on my feet is the fact that I love and I feel loved all the way! Love gives me strength and wings to fly towards tomorrow. And I keep my faith, that is for sure, so that I can be inspired and led to the light.

...and stuck in the middle, in a moment out of time!

Speak the words I need to hear, show me the path and make me believe I have what it takes to follow it, and make my spirit revive and rejoice! Show me there's more than the eye meets, that there's a whole new world waiting for me and that, as long as I believe there's a God up there, I don't have to fear any evil.

I'll be waiting.....................

Wolf

Still...

Still see the road that took you away
Still feel the pain that’s here to stay
And I wonder, oh I wonder
How much longer do we have to wait?

Another day’s dying and without a cause,
Can’t handle the thorns as I pick up the rose,
And I wonder, oh I wonder,
Can I still carry my cross?

Love me a million times,
There’s a heart to heal,
Time just cannot do that,
But your love will…

If I were to speak about how sorry I am,
For the feelings I’ve killed, for the untold pain,
For the times I didn’t want to say:
“I love you”, OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

Call the clouds to cover my heart,
Make the sun go down and fade to the dark,
Let your love guide me home,
Let it take me right back.

Five years...

Good evening,

Well, well, I'm a little more active lately, isn't it? True that! I feel that my life's been changing plenty during the last three weeks, and things ARE going for the better. Thank God for that!

My last two posts have been in direct connection with my love life. My girl's been away, but now she's back, and hapiness is the strongest sensation I'm experiencing right now. But I wonder - is this the price of happiness? I mean, 5 years of pain and broken vows, mingled with brief moments of exultation and pure, unconditionned love, is this the way to happiness? In order to find peace and happiness, do you need to say and do things that you will eventually find as wrong or even worse? Does making your beloved hurt like hell take you to a better place for your love? Does sending her or him away grant you that she or he will find the way back to you and your love shall be fulfilled?

Let me tell you something - DON'T! Sending your love away can only result in pain and distress. Someone else might open their arms, and she or he will be gone forever. Don't take this chance, don't put your love to the test. Keep your love where it belongs - inside your heart. Inprison it if you have to! As long as you know that the feeling is shared by the other, there's no reason why you should open the cage. Keep it there - love is blind and stupid, it cannot have a mind of its own! You gotta take the right decisions and keeping it there is the light to guide you.

Now I'm at peace with my heart. Yes, indeed I am. I was so close to let go my love - once again, I don't remember how many times I've done it - and now I feel like things are the way they should be.

Right now I believe I can dream again, hope again, LIVE AGAIN!

Love has joined faith and hope. The circle is complete. I'm ready to live... :)

Peace&Love to You All!

Razvan (the Wolf)